True Beauty Lesson Outline 3 – Modesty in Behavior

All True Beauty lessons on this blog are my unedited outlines. Feel free to ask questions regarding anything that may seem unclear, since some things are written down to jog my memory.   

True Beauty, Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Modesty in Behavior
Prayer
Introductions (if necessary) Name and favorite thing they’ve done already this summer
Review
Memory Verse- Ephesians 4:29 (Write down who knows it)

Today we’re going to do an overview on Modesty in Behavior and throughout the next few weeks we’ll go deeper into each part.

What do you think modest behavior means?

What is modesty?

Behavior = observable activity

How do you think a lady should behave?

A lady should be known for these things (have them write it down):

  • Having humility
  • Being a servant
  • Being obedient
  • Respecting others, especially authority
  • Having a Christ-like attitude
  • Caring more about her soul than her outward appearance
  • Having gracious speech
  • Being refined (tasteful, has tact-a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid offending someone; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations)
  • Being polite

What do our verses in 1 Peter say about behavior?

1 Peter 3:3-4- “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”

A gentle and quiet spirit.

Where do you think a gentle and quiet spirit comes from?

The Holy Spirit. When God gives us a new heart He places His Holy Spirit within us and we are shaped to have the characteristics of His Spirit.

Do you know what those characteristics or behavior traits are?

Galatians 5:22– “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”

That is how we are to behave, with love, with joy, with peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and with self-control. However, we can not produce any of those things out of our own ability. Maybe some of the things we do will be kind or gentle, but, just like we talked about last week, even a bad tree can produce fruit that looks good on the outside.

Luke 9:23-“Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, daily, and follow Me.’”

What does that say about behavior?

As ladies, as followers of Jesus, as people, sometimes we have to deny ourselves to serve others.

Let’s look at Jesus and see if we can find out more about modest behavior.

Philippians 2:3-11 (NKJV)- “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind in you, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed upon Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

  • Do nothing from rivalry or conceit
    • Do not compete with others simply because you want to get back at them or because you think you can do it better than them.
  • In humility count others more significant than yourselves
    • Think for other people, how would you like to be treated in the situation they are in? Treat them that way. Be the friend you want to have.
  • Look not only to His own interests, but also to the interests of others
    • Again, do not be self-absorbed; be aware of the people around you. How can you encourage them? What are they concerned about? Be concerned about it too.
  • Have this mind in you, which was also in Christ Jesus
    • What kind of mind did Jesus have? What was Jesus’ goals in coming to earth? When God gives you a new heart, those goals become your goals. You want to live, act, talk, and be like Jesus.
  • Though He was in the form (exact essence) of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped
    • Though Christ had all the rights, privileges, and honors of being God, His attitude was not to cling to those things or His position but to be willing to give them up for a season.
    • Do not use your status in school, home, sports, anywhere, as a means of getting things for yourself. Do not abuse the rights and privileges you have, be grateful for them, but do not abuse them.
  • He made Himself nothing
    • Remember we are nothing. We are not God’s gift to creation, we are only alive because of His grace, and if Jesus made Himself nothing then we are to follow His example and remember we are nothing apart from Him.
  • Taking the form of a servant
    • We are to be a servant. Just like Jesus served others, we are to serve. Just like He gives people grace, we are to give people grace. Just like He loves people, we are to love people. Just like He gives mercy, we are to give mercy. Just like He respected the authority of His Father, we are to respect our authority.
  • Being born in the likeness of men, and being found in human form
    • When we get overwhelmed with how many responsibilities we have as ladies, this should bring us a lot of comfort; Jesus was a human. He was born the same way we were, He went through the exact same things we do, and He did it all perfectly. It can be done, but not apart from Him.
  • He humbled Himself
    • He didn’t have to have someone else humble Him, He did it Himself. Humility means you don’t hold yourself in high regard and you realize you are nothing apart from Christ.
  • By becoming obedient
    • How did Jesus humble Himself? By becoming obedient. How are we to humble ourselves? By becoming obedient. Complete submission to the Father’s will, just like Jesus, is the recipe for humility.
  • To the point of death, even death on a cross
    • Jesus wasn’t just obedient in His everyday life, but He was obedient to His Father’s wishes all the way to the cross. His Father wanted Him to be the sacrifice for sins so He did it willingly. We are to follow God the Father the same way, all the way to death if He asks us to. Why? Because it would be the best thing for us, the Father’s will is always for our good and His glory.
  • Therefore God has highly exalted Him
    • When Jesus humbled Himself, brought Himself low, made Himself nothing, God exalted Him, brought Him up, and made Him the most spectacular, beautiful person the world will ever know. Likewise, when we humble ourselves, the Lord exalts us in His own time and in His own way. Don’t you think that His exaltation is much better than our own or that of others?
  • And bestowed upon Him the name that is above every name
    • Not only did God the Father exalt His Son after His willful obedience, but He also exalted His name- He gave Him the name that is above every name! When complete and willing obedience to the Father is given, His plans for our lives turn out so much better than we could ever imagine for ourselves.
  • So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord
    • The Father’s plan in sending Jesus was for Him to die for our sins and redeem the fallen world, but also to show His excellency. This is our mission too. We want to behave and act in a way that follows Jesus because we want the world to see Jesus! We want every knee to bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth and we want every tongue to confess that Jesus Christ is Lord! That is the heart of a Christian, and that is the heart that has a gentle and quiet spirit.
  • To the glory of God the Father
    • This is the reason Jesus did everything: for His Father’s glory. That is the reason we are to do everything. Everything we do should bring our heavenly Father glory. If it doesn’t, we shouldn’t do it. Modest behavior will always exude a gentle and quiet spirit, and a gentle and quiet spirit will always bring God glory.

Jesus had all power to do whatever He wanted but He didn’t- Through His restraint He showed modesty. So perhaps modesty is about restraining something we want but that isn’t helpful for ourselves or others or isn’t glorifying to God. That is the same thing as self-control or self-discipline. So maybe another word for modesty is not only humility but self-discipline—denying yourself certain privileges, like Jesus did, in order to follow Jesus’ example.

Our outward behavior tells everyone else what is going on in our hearts.

If you have a respectful attitude towards others, then that means that you most likely have a respectful heart. If you have mean speech then it means that you most likely have a mean and black heart.

Your behavior is a reflection of what is going on in your hearts. What is your behavior telling others about what is inside your heart?

Again, as we talked about last week, this proper behavior can not happen on our own. We can not be like Jesus without Jesus being inside us. Proper behavior comes from a heart properly aligned with Jesus.

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